


Lucky SOB

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-05
Updated: 2001-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Lucky SOB

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Lucky SOB by Bertie

Title: Lucky SOB  
Author: Bertie  
Fandom: XF  
Date: 6/24/01  
Series: none  
E-Mail:   
Rating: PG-15  
Category: Parody or badfic, havent decided  
Archive: sure  
Summary:  
Warnings: Prepare to be a little nauseous  
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.

* * *

Alex lay sprawled across Walter's bed looking quite edible in absolutely nothing at all. Unaware of it, small cherubs fluttered about him, farting their sweet scent all over him, preparing him for his lovers. They ensured that his odor was just right and that his lips were just the right shade of pink and that his thick dark lashes were just right.

They stayed clear of only one section of the beautiful adonis stretched across the bed, and that was his truncated arm, where a big fat, demon sat smoking a cigarette on his lunch hour and hissing at the fluttering fat farts flying all about him.

Just then Walter appeared at the door, looking like a Nordic warrior come home from killing a dragon, ready to do some ravishing of his sweet lover. He gasped at the sheer beauty of his erstwhile lover, Alex, on the bed. He was shocked to find him there. For Alex had left him and had not told the warrior when he would return. The cherubs farted nervously, sensing a tension in the room, but then were calmed when the big warrior bent and captured Alex's sweet pink lips with his own. 

Walter pulled back to stare at the vision of loveliness before him as the ravenwing lashes fluttered open and jade shot their arrows straight into his heart and down to his sizeable cock pressing painfully against his britches.

"Oh Alex, I have missed you so," moaned the pained warrior, his desire for the vision before him pouring from every pour of his body and every syllable of his speech.

"Walter..." the voice husky as if having toked on a doobie a moment before. "I have missed you two, my big strong rutting lion."

Walter smiled coquettishly down at Alex, making cooing noises and kissy faces at his lover.

Just then ominous music wafted about the apartment when Mulder appeared at the door. He looked like a sleek angel having just returned from a quick sprint across the length and breadth of DC, making it back in time for the lovers' reunion. He smelled faintly of cherub farts and roses.

"Alex! Your home!" he cried and threw himself into Alex's outstretched arms, sucking the younger man's tongue down his throat.

Walter stared in awe at his beautiful lovers sharing each other as he watched. He was one lucky son of a bitch.

Later, after they were all sweaty and nakid together on the bed, the cherubs were looking a little worse for wear while the demon on Alex's stump was smiling evilly and singing the cherub's wings when they came too close.

THE END

  
Archived: July 04, 2001 


End file.
